he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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