In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize