Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Randomize
