Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
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I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
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