My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
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i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
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The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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