I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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