Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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