i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize