Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
i think i have two assholes
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize