all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the manischevitz sangria was a big hit
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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