this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
