I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
