I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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