Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
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He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
She's the one that asked you what my favorite color was & handed you a piece of bacon
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
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When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
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