The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
