what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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