I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
