We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Randomize
