I accidentally had phone sex last night
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
It was like giving head to a cactus.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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