its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize