Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
