Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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