im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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