i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
We don't watch enough power rangers
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
