Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
He has the fingertips of a God
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