it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
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