38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
There's always time for handjobs
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Randomize
