this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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