you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
