I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm watching people hook up tonight who, when they wake up tomorrow, are going to wish they were blind.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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