do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
I did not marry a roomba.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
