you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Randomize
