Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
i just woke up naked on my porch, holding the neighbors cat in my arms.
smell my finger.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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