I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
