would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
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I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
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All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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