Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Randomize
