Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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