my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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