I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
