I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
