You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
This gyro tastes like lonliness
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
Randomize
