so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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