Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
