So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
