I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
Randomize
