shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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