Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Randomize