new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Randomize
