I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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