Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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