You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
