i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
