dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My vag should have a twitter account. It would be like "destroyed another condom today".
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
