didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
i need some magic done to my vagina
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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