thus making me awesome and them whores
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Randomize
