Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
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