K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
