yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
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