I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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