I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
