Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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