im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Green mimosas i think yes
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Randomize
