Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
