was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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