happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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