did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Randomize
